Fast Car
Fast Car by Tracy Chapman is one of my faves. It makes me think, like most music I love. I rarely can listen to music and not have a conversation in my head about what it means. I heard Fast Car the other night and I thought.... a lot. Lucky you! Haha So, if you haven't heard Fast Car you've been living under a rock and you need to go listen to it now. Go.
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Ok, now you have listened and deeply enjoyed I am sure of it. I have a blessing + a curse. I feel everything VERY deeply. I feel hurt, frustration, love, just about every emotion very deeply. I have been like this forever. My aunt tells me she asked me to stop doing something at Christmas time and I burst into tears. I have obviously grown and figured out how to manage these deep emotions, but I still feel things deeeep people. Like I said it's a blessing and a curse. It means I am an over thinker. Like, extreme. In some cases it makes me think before I speak and try to be sure I am doing my best, (blessing) but it also makes my best sometimes not enough. Often times things don't seem good enough to me.
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Fast Car made me think of circumstances. We have the opportunity to let our circumstances define us or drive us. Immediately when I say circumstances my mind thinks the worst, but circumstances don't have to mean homelessness, jobless or hitting rock bottom. . Everyone has their story, lets call them stories that make up who they are. Often times we judge each other based on what their story is. "Oh, they don't have it bad compared to... blah blah blah" but that isn't fair. Everyone's story is different and it's all relative. We can't say that someones story is worse than ours or better than ours. We deal with things differently and we all have a different idea of what is acceptable for our story. Your feelings are real + no one can change that. It's real for you, so it matters.
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"You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere." I know I get to a point when anything seems better. I hope I am not alone in this + I don't think I am. I am not talking about children or marriages, but material things or status. I might think we should own a house by now, or have "cooler" more interesting jobs. Can't I have a house that cleans itself and is photo ready at all times? Is that too much to ask. Yes, because life happens and that's okay. But, I had to convince myself of this. I say had like its past tense and I have it figured out. HAHA I laugh at the thought of having just about anything figured out. I have the job I have because of "my story" I live in a tiny little apartment because of our fun summer "story" (another time) I'm good at my job and living in a tiny little apartment for the time being isn't hurting anyone. I truly believe that I am an elementary music teacher because I'm making a difference. Somehow, I am making a difference. And, yes... that takes convincing because its hard. (another time, I could go on +on) But looking back, its what makes sense. The people that were in my life at the point I made my decision, and the people I met along the way make it make sense. This doesn't mean I will be a music teacher forever or I won't be led to something else. I don't know what is still to come or what the rest of "my story" is. God has a plan + I trust in it fully. I am okay with growing + learning + changing. I welcome them.
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Soooo what I am trying to say is... fast cars are a thrill. They are something that aren't a reality for everyone. They are a luxury for most. A fast car can take you somewhere new and make you feel on the edge if you drive fast enough. If we got to drive in fast cars every day would they be as exciting? I guess I am speaking to the people like me. If you drive a fast car and live life on the edge you'll have to let me know if it loses its lust. I'm guessing it does. Sometimes you have to remind yourself a normal or simple life is okay. Don't forget to enjoy the boring stuff.
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Remind yourself of your blessings. Grass may be greener on the other side for awhile, but if you don't water it or tend to it you will yield the same result on both sides. Your story can be good or bad relatively speaking, but think about what it is you want changed and change it. There is nothing wrong with wanting more, but don't let where you are now define you if you don't want your story to end there. You decide to let your story define you or drive you.
“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” ― Martha Washington
OOO MARTHA ^^^
my little blessing + fast car ^
No matter what, go out and be a spark. Light up someone's day. Make their story just a bit better.
xo
Tess
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